Active Listening Skills Tip #1: Be Confident and Present in the Conversation
Often times, we don’t
listen well, not because we don’t want to, but because we are too busy trying
to figure out what to say next, and we’re worrying about having something
valuable to say. This is due to lack of confidence in ourselves, and a failure
to be present with the speaker. When we worry about what to say
next, we naturally won’t hear everything the other person is saying, and we’ll
fill in the blanks with our own assumptions. This often
happens in job interviews — we are so nervous about how to say why we are
qualified that we don’t listen, and therefore don’t answer the question that
was asked into interview. Obviously, this is counter-productive.
Practice: Do not think
about what to say next while you are listening. Think about what you want to
say next after the other person
has finished speaking. Brief silence is okay in a conversation. You can also
say “that’s a great question” to buy time. Also, don’t interrupt the person
while they are speaking — that is a sure sign that you are not listening well.
